Generally when I find myself broken or hurt I turn to God and ask for him to take the pain away. But I've learned instead of asking for him to change the circumstance I should be asking for him to change my heart. That way I can grow and learn from it, rather than "fixing" it. In every such circumstance I've grown closer to God and instead of dwelling in self-pity and sorrow, I can be joyful because of the results that lay ahead. Everytime I loose something or someone of significant value to me, like I lost my last boyfriend of a year, God was all I had. So then my life's priorities were put back into place. It was written, "You'll never know that God is all you need until God is all you've got," and I came to that realization.
I was sharing this with a good friend of mine and we were talking about crying. I was explaining to him why I love crying. It's because of that state of desperation it holds; When everything around me is falling down and I'm in my most desperate state I am the closest to God. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit," Psalms 34:18
Like Dr. Dell Tackett says... we are like caterpillers turning into butterflies. When we grow we metamorph, but alot of people forget about the step inbetween... the cacoon. Before we can grow we have to experience the ugly cacoon before we can grow into Butterflies.
"Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead," 1 Corinthians 1:9
Russell Kelfer, "No, that trauma you faced was not easy. And God wept that it hurt you so; But it was allowed to shape your heart. So that into his likeness you'd grow."
I'd suggest for everyone to read and apply the Purpose Driven Life and check out the Truth Project.